Totlandia: Summer Read online

  Kimberley’s smile faded and her face turned beet red.

  What’s wrong with her? Bettina wondered. She’s always such a drama queen! My God, you’d think I was talking about her.

  She turned just in time to catch Lorna’s angry glare. She knew just how to get under her sister-in-law’s skin: she smiled and waved at her.

  Lorna responded with a single-finger salute. With Dante on her hip, she followed Jillian, who had already followed Ally down the hill with the twins.

  Incensed at their defiance, Bettina turned to Jade, but tempered herself to keep the venom in her voice to a minimum. “Now you’re really one of us, my dear.”

  Her declaration had the opposite effect on Jade. All the color drained from her face.

  Bettina almost laughed. Jade looked like a corpse. “What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? Don’t you get it? You won! Welcome to the Top Moms Committee!”

  Jade’s nod was so slight, she could have been in a trance. “Thank you. It’s everything I always wanted.”

  “Your enthusiasm is underwhelming.” Mallory bristled like a pit bull off leash.

  “Down, girl. You’re scaring Prince Vsevolod Ivanovich.” Bettina petted the puppy she held in her arms. Sheesh, Mallory needs a muzzle, she thought. It never failed to amuse her how humans were so similar to canines. If only they were just as obedient. “I have to say, ladies, I’m somewhat disappointed in the sistah solidarity the other probies are showing Ally. You’d think the last person in the world they’d comfort is someone who may have taken their place in the club! But no, just look at them, running after her. Must be some form of coercive persuasion or something.”

  Jade frowned. “What? I don’t know what that is.”

  Joanna shrugged. “It means brainwashing. You know, mind control. It’s what they do in cults.”

  Perplexed, Sally tilted her head. “Don’t you mean Münchausen syndrome?”

  “No, you ninny! That’s Stockholm syndrome. Münchausen is when you pretend to be sick,” Mallory sneered. “You know, like, ‘Not now, dear, I’ve got a headache.’”

  Noting Sally’s blank stare, Mallory added, “Let me guess, you never tried it? Figures.” Mallory stepped closer to Jade and scrutinized her sharply. “You’re tight with Ally, too, aren’t you?”

  Jade leaned so far back to get away from Mallory that she almost toppled over. “Yes! I mean, I like everyone I’ve met through the club.”

  “As you should.” Bettina shrugged. “And personally, I find it touching that you’ve bonded so closely with Lorna and Jillian. At the same time, I’d hate for Ally’s duplicity to cast aspersions on them as well. Or you, for that matter, since you are part of their tight-knit little entourage. All the more reason you should go comfort Ally. You know, find out how she and the other two are taking it. Commiseration loves company, right? Afterward, you’ll report back to me, of course. On Wednesday, perhaps.”

  Even as she nodded, Jade wondered how on earth she could comfort Ally. She’ll kill me if I come near her—if I don’t kill her first.

  “In fact, come to the meet-up a half hour early,” Bettina continued. “We’ll be moderating the children’s advanced placement classes. At ten that day, you and Kimberley will join me in monitoring the Foursies’ meditation classes with the Indian swami, and the Twosies’ soccer lessons with the pro from Manchester. At the same time, Mallory, Sally, and Joanna will cover the Threesies’ class with the Cubist painter, and the Onesies’ session with the Olympic swimmer. After lunch, we’ll look in on your precious Mr. Pudberry, the Shakespearean scholar, while the others check in on the Fivesies group’s lesson with the San Francisco symphony violinist.” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re up for that, I presume?”

  “Of course,” Jade murmured.

  Bettina waved her arms dismissively. “Well then, shoo! Scat!”

  Jade scooped up Oliver from the sand lot and practically ran down the hill after her friends. At least, she hoped Jillian and Lorna still liked her.

  If not, it suddenly dawned on her how to convince them that they had no other choice.

  ***

  “Please, Ally, wait!” Lorna’s voice followed Ally all the way down the hill.

  But she was too ashamed to stop.

  A truck rounding the corner and blaring its horn as it barely missed her convinced her otherwise.

  She was still shaking when Jillian and Lorna reached her. Jillian grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the curb. “Please don’t be mad at us, too.”

  “I’m…I’m not. I just had to get out of there.” Even now, Ally could still feel the stares of the other mothers drilling a hole in the back of her head. No doubt the cackling laughter coming from the top of the hill was at her expense, too.

  She steeled herself before turning around. Just beyond Lorna and Jillian, she saw Jade running toward her, too.

  Angrily, Ally shook her head. “I don’t believe it!”

  Ally waited until Jade came to a stop, in front of her. They stared at each other until, finally, Ally asked, “You told Bettina, didn’t you?”

  Lorna’s and Jillian’s jaws dropped. They stared at Jade, but were too shocked to say anything.

  Time seemed to stand still. Finally Jade murmured, “Yes.”

  Jillian gasped.

  Lorna shook her head. “Jade, how could you? We had a pact!”

  “Because…because I can’t stand the fact that Brady is in love with her.”

  This time, it was Lorna who gasped. “You’re kidding, right?”

  Jade’s lips rose into a bitter grimace. “You mean, she hasn’t told you? I guess that’s a good thing. At least you didn’t condone the fact that she’s leading Brady on.”

  Ally couldn’t believe her ears. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that despite your promise to me to stay away from him, you let him on your company’s board—”

  “It’s no longer my company, remember?” Ally practically spat the words at Jade. “But of course you know this. And yet you lied when you told me Brady instigated my termination from the board.”

  Tears streamed down Jade’s cheeks. “Well, what did you expect me to say, Ally? He spent the night at your house! I thought you were fucking him!”

  “I meant what I said. I’d never betray you, Jade.”

  “Oh no? So you mean to tell me you’re not in love with him?”

  Ally opened her mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out. What could she say? Of course she was in love with him.

  “I knew it,” Jade murmured.

  This time, it was Jillian who gasped. “Ally, how could you?”

  Ally shook her head. “It just…happened. He couldn’t help it. Neither could I.”

  “And I’m supposed to be ‘okay’ with it.” Jade spat out her words. “But he and I have a history together. We were married. We have a child together. He once loved me, too! And…and I still love him.”

  Jillian and Lorna exchanged glances. You’d have to be blind if you didn’t see the look of adoration on Jade’s face whenever Brady was in the room.

  “Lorna, how would you feel if it were Matt in love with Ally, instead of Brady? Wouldn’t you want me to stand by you?” Jade asked. “And, Jillian, how did you feel when Scott told you about his affair with his assistant? Will you ever forgive her?” She took a step closer so that Jillian had nowhere to look but into her eyes. “What if it were Ally who’d taken Scott from you instead? How would you feel then, about your supposedly dear friend?”

  Jillian looked from Ally to Jade, and back to Ally. She was too shocked to say anything, but Ally had seen that hurt and wariness in Jillian’s eyes once before: when they had run into Victoria, the woman who Scott had left Jillian for, at a baby boutique.

  She’s comparing me to her, Ally thought sadly. After all we’ve done to start the pie business, you’d think she’d trust me enough to believe me.

  Jade took Jillian’s hand and murmured, “Now you know how I feel.”

  The thought that her closest friend doubted her had Ally fumbling in Zoe’s diaper bag for her car key.

  “This isn’t right,” Lorna muttered. But she didn’t put her hand on Ally’s arm to stop her.

  Neither did Jillian.

  As if agreeing with Lorna, Zoe whined as Ally put her in her car seat. The last thing the little girl wanted was to leave her friends.

  But they are no longer your friends, Ally thought. And their mothers are no longer mine.

  Ally’s tears were falling so hard and so fast that it was a wonder she could see well enough to make it home, without sideswiping the car.

  By the time she got home, Zoe was sobbing just as hard.

  11:32 a.m.

  Brady Pierce took great pleasure pulling Jade’s clothes off the hangers in her closest and dumping them in large black plastic bags. Nothing says sayonara like finding your belongings on the curb, he thought.

  After admitting to the lie she told Ally, he was determined to keep her out of his life once and for all.

  As he opened her underwear drawer, a rainbow of panties and push-up bras practically sprang into his lap; it was stuffed so tightly. The vision of Jade in her pink polka-dot thong and nothing else, moaning ecstatically during their last lovemaking session, suddenly appeared in his mind’s eye.

  It was times like this that he cursed his photographic memory.

  And his libido, especially when it came to his ex.

  Yesterday, when he learned that Jade had lied to Ally, he was livid. He demanded that she move out immediately.

  Instead, she locked herself in the guest room and stayed there all night, ignoring him as he banged on the door and threatened to wring her neck if she didn’t open it.

  This morning she took off early with Oliver. He presumed she was at the Monday PHM&T meet-up. Ten minutes after she’d gone, he hustled down the street to meet a Pottery Barn delivery truck at a cute little bungalow he’d rented for her. By the time she got back, her new digs would be furnished catalog-perfect.

  It was the perfect kiss-off gift.

  If she didn’t like it, well, too bad. For all he cared, she could shack up on a cot in the dressing room of the Condor Club with the rest of the strippers who’d been kicked to the curb by their latest boyfriends, pimps, or “managers.” He regretted the day she’d caught his eye there. The way she pinwheeled on the center pole was mesmerizing. But her hold over him couldn’t be blamed on too much scotch, because he’d stayed stone-cold sober in order to stay on his game while wining and dining his guests—Japanese businessmen, stateside in search of the sort of high-tech investments Brady’s venture capital firm excelled in ferreting out. He didn’t mind tucking ten dollar bills into her G-string because it allowed him to brush his thumb against her flat belly. And yes, he resented when other men did the same—especially his foreign guests, whom he’d brought to the club at their insistence.

  No need for a translator to get the gist of their sly asides. Jade was the object of their lust, too.

  But he’d been the one to take her home that night. And the next, and the one after that. She was too young, too sweet, and certainly too innocent to be working in a place like that.

  On their second night together, he asked her why she’d taken the job. She responded with a frown. “The money’s good.”

  “Isn’t it creepy to have all these guys hit on you?” The moment it was out of his mouth, he realized how cruel he sounded.

  “Well, I don’t consider you all that creepy.” There was no sarcasm in her laugh. If he were to describe it, he’d say that it had the lilt of a bell ringing in a gentle breeze. But her smile faded when she added, “The last girl you took home with you—let me guess, did she work some kind of office job?”

  He shook his head. “I never asked her.”

  “Why not?”

  “She wasn’t you.”

  Jade blushed at that response.

  They made love all night, until dawn.

  In truth, he’d been set up with the other woman. She was the sister-in-law of one of his happily married Stanford fraternity brothers. For whatever reason, her position as a managing director at Barclays Capital and the financial portfolio that went with it didn’t seem to compensate for her flat chest and pug-like visage.

  On the other hand, Jade had a face like an angel, and the rack of a Playboy Playmate.

  He certainly hadn’t taken her home for the intellectually stimulating conversation.

  He never regretted Oliver’s existence in his life. Still, since then, he always carried condoms.

  Last night he had arranged for the rental of a bungalow, sight unseen. The real estate broker said the owners were ecstatic about the deal, since they had already put an offer on a home just across the Golden Gate Bridge in Tiburon, and were worried that they’d be stuck with two mortgage payments.

  “Hey, if it works out, maybe I’ll take it off their hands before my yearlong lease is up,” he promised blithely. That is, if Jade behaved herself—which meant keeping up her end of the bargain of taking Oliver to the meet-ups.

  Oh yeah, and one more caveat: she’d also have to promise to leave him and Ally alone.

  He cooled off long enough to toss the bags near the front door, and to arrange for a moving van to come get Jade’s things. “Get here within the hour, and I’ll double your fee,” he told the van owner.

  “You got it,” the man promised.

  Now, to get that freeloading bum she picked up last week out of my house, Brady thought.

  Jade had set up Cornelius Reginald Pudberry in the au pair suite, which was on the ground floor of the mansion, next to the garage. Brady didn’t knock, but entered quietly. Before he roused the unwanted guest from a sound slumber, he did a quick reconnaissance for any bottles. None—a good sign, considering his condition when Jade found him: drunk as a skunk on the sidewalk. If she hadn’t been so desperate to find an instructor for the PHM&T’s advanced placement course for the five-year-old group, she may not have given him a second glance.

  As it turned out, Reggie Pudberry’s reputation as a Nobel Prize winner now had her in Bettina’s good graces.

  That, and the fact that I’ve given Art, that deadbeat investor she calls a husband, a half million dollars to lose, Brady thought.

  As Brady stared down at him, the sleeping man’s snores shook the walls. The first night he’d come home with Jade, Brady had checked him out. To his surprise, Reggie’s claim of winning a Nobel Prize was legit. And now that Jade had him cleaned up, in truth he wasn’t a bad-looking guy. He was perhaps a few years younger than Brady, but shorter and slighter.

  You can’t really get beauty sleep on a sidewalk in the Tenderloin. And Dumpster diving for your meals is one hell of a diet, Brady thought. No wonder he looks so rough. I wonder what could have caused his downfall. I guess I’ll never know. He’s Jade’s problem, not mine. When she hits the road, he does, too.

  He smacked Reggie on the cheek. “Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty.”

  Reggie opened one eye with a groan. “'Hell is empty and all the devils are here.'” He struggled to lift himself up by his elbows. “What time is it? My wake-up call was for the crack of noon.”

  “Too bad. It’s moving day.” Brady tossed Reggie the pair of pants hanging on the bedpost. Except for the bed and a desk holding various tattered paperback volumes of Shakespeare, the room was essentially bare. “Grab your crap. The delivery truck has already set up all the furniture I bought for Jade’s new digs. The movers are here now to take her stuff over there before she comes home. You can hitch a ride. It will be easier on her if you’re already there to keep her company.”

  Reggie frowned. “Sans chaperon? I can only imagine what that will do for our lady’s reputation.”

  Brady laughed so hard, he almost choked. “Don’t worry about her reputation. She’s a former pole dancer, for Christ’s sake!”

  “She’s also your wife, remember?”

  Brady shrugged. “Ex-wife. Oliver’s mother. Nothing more.”

  Reggie shook his head in disbelief. “And periodic booty call, maybe? But I digress. By the way, I’ve met many a stripper who’d run circles around those hussies in Jade’s little mommies’ club.”

  “Oh yeah? How do you know about those women, anyway?”

  “In the past I’ve had the bad fortune of being chased from a park bench by the lead witch in their coven…Bettina, isn’t it?”

  Brady conceded with a nod. Suddenly his eyes lit up. “Hey, listen, how would you like to earn some extra cash?”

  “Sorry, old boy. I don’t do murder or extortion.” He smiled. “And besides, I think the world of Jade.”

  “That’s why you’d be perfect for this gig. Essentially, it’s babysitting.”

  “Nope, not interested. I’m already teaching Shakespeare to snot-nosed four-year-olds once a week.”

  “I’m not talking about kids. What I mean is that I want you to keep an eye on Jade. You know, keep her busy when she doesn’t have Oliver, so that she’s not always thinking of me. What do you say to that?”

  “I’d say huzzah. I’d also say you’ve gone bonkers. That gorgeous woman is head over heels in love with you. I take it you don’t believe Shakespeare’s adage, ‘Love sought is good, but given unsought is better’?”

  “You got that right. I’ve had my fill of unsought love.” Brady looked Reggie squarely in the eye.

  “Ah, yes. I forgot about the appropriately named redhead, Mistress Savitch.”

  Brady turned white. “How do you know about her?”

  “A seasoned bum on a park bench is as invisible as the wood sprites in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Your playground pickup of the unfair damsel was a sight to behold. You could give lessons. Maybe MacWorld could add your mating techniques as a workshop or something.”

  Brady couldn’t help but be flattered. “Thanks, man. But I’m not ready for Jade to know that. She’d probably be so angry that she’d ditch the club, and that’s not to Oliver’s benefit. Got that?”