Impossibly Tongue-Tied Read online

  WILBUR: She’ll…be moaning?

  O: Oh, Wilbur, yes! YES! She—she’ll come! Again…and again…and again…with you! With you thrusting into her, harder, never stopping…never…

  WILBUR: I…I have to go back! To the hotel, right now!

  O: (Softly, joyously) You do that, Wilbur. You do that. Oh, and Wilbur?

  WILBUR: (A bit distractedly) Yeah, O?

  O: Listen, Wilbur, from now on, do me a favor. I’d like you to call her O, too, okay?

  WILBUR: Sure, O…I…I guess. If that will make you happy.

  O: It does. Oh, and Hugo, ask her to call you Wilbur. Tell her that those are your new secret nicknames for each other, which you’re to use only when you’re making love. Get it?

  WILBUR: (In awe) That is truly inspired.

  O: I knew you’d think so. Now go have fun, you naughty boy.

  That very afternoon, Archie called Sam to say that he was doubling the budget for the Katerina Project.

  Oh, and that Lucinda and Hugo were extending their vacation another ten days.

  Maybe I didn’t need to give O my card in the first place, thought Sam. Maybe all Hugo needed was a few odds and ends from the International Love Boutique.

  Go figure.

  He called Nathan and Nina’s house to let them know that the audition was finally set for eleven days from then.

  On the day of Nathan’s audition, Nina was calm and peaceful. She knew how good Nathan was. And she knew he was prepared to give a very electrifying read of a very moving scene, as requested by the director, from the movie’s script, because they’d rehearsed it for hours on end, every day for at least a week prior to when the audition was finally scheduled.

  They had spent the morning having über-fabulous sex, if she did say so herself. The sex they shared always burned white hot, as if they provided each other with the fuel they both needed to keep going—to keep believing—in themselves.

  She was right. Nathan was primed, pumped, and chomping at the bit to prove himself as an actor of incredible potential.

  And if the lovemaking hadn’t done the trick, perhaps the Rescue Heroes Mission Car Jake put in his daddy’s jacket pocket as a good luck talisman would.

  “Go get ’em, tiger,” she purred out to him as he left her tangled in the bedsheets while he showered off.

  Of course Nina wouldn’t be there to cue him during the audition, and that sort of bothered her.

  “I guess they’ll just have some assistant reading the other part,” she fretted.

  “Yeah, probably,” said Nathan breezily. He approached every nerve-wracking challenge as if he’d already won it. That arrogance was part of his charm. “Hell, it can be a stuntman for all I care. Sam didn’t say, but I’m guessing that it’ll probably be an assistant casting person.”

  The reason Sam didn’t say was that Katerina was going to read with Nathan herself.

  Sam had thought about that one long and hard: Should he suggest that Nina be there, just so that Nathan wouldn’t be put in a very uncomfortable position right off the bat?

  What, was he kidding himself? From what he saw of Nathan, the kid would enjoy whatever Kat threw his way.

  The only one who would be uncomfortable would be Nina.

  He could never do that to her.

  No, if the kid was going to have his fall from grace, there was nothing Sam could do about it now.

  Or ever, for that matter.

  TRANSCRIPT OF NATHAN HARTE AUDITION TAPE [1/30/2XXX]

  (INT. FLAGRANT STUDIOS—DAY)

  (FADE IN ON: TWO EMPTY STOOLS, sitting in the center of the room.)

  SFX a COUGH from the cameraman, FRED, who is fiddling with the camera).

  Voice Over of NATHAN: Hi, um, I’m Nathan Harte…Gee, Mr. Schmitt, I have to tell you that it’s an HONOR—

  V/O HUGO: Yeah, hi, Nathan. Looking forward to seeing if you can live up to Sam’s assessment.

  V/O NATHAN: (Gives a nervous cough) I’ll, uh, do my best…So where would you like me to—

  V/O HUGO: Take a seat on the stool there…

  NATHAN HARTE (Comes into the frame, holding his script. He sits gingerly on the stool.)

  V/O HUGO: Hey, uh, Frank, can you move in some? Edie, can you adjust that backlight?

  (CLOSE-UP on Nathan. The camera goes in and out of focus as it adjusts for clarity, and the room seems to go a bit lighter as a halo envelopes Nathan, who looks right into the camera’s eye, smiles broadly and winks at it before running his hand through his hair and giving his head a toss.)

  NATHAN: (Clears his throat) Um…There was that scene that Sam mentioned…Unless you’d prefer for me to do a cold reading—

  V/O HUGO: Nah…we wouldn’t do that to you…We’ll stick with the scene we discussed with Sam. Speaking of which, uh, you wouldn’t mind reading with the film’s female lead, would you?

  NATHAN: (Sitting up a little straighter now) Heck, no. I think I can do that, no prob.

  V/O HUGO: (Chuckling) Yeah sure, okay…Edie, darling, can you let Ms. McPherson know that we’re ready anytime she is? Thanks.

  (At first, it seems that Nathan is drawing a blank. Then, as the name registers, his mouth drops open a bit. He smiles to himself, and he nods his head in wonder. It’s obvious that he thinks he’s won the jackpot.)

  (WIDER ANGLE as KATERINA McPHERSON leisurely saunters into view. Nathan jumps off the stool to shake her hand. She smiles up at him before taking his hand in hers, then pulls him in close to her as she gives a soft approving laugh. This makes him blush.)

  KATERINA: Nathan…well…I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. You know, I saw your reel—

  NATHAN: (In shock and awe) Ms. McPherson, wow…Gee! I’m—I’m speechless…

  KATERINA: (Feigning modesty) What? Did Sam not tell you I was going to read with you? (She gives another knowing chuckle) He’s…he’s such a naughty boy, that Sam. I, uh, hope that won’t throw you…or anything?

  NATHAN: What? NO! No, not at all…I’m just so…honored. (He now looks off camera, at Hugo) Um, Mr. Schmitt, just…whenever you say go…

  V/O HUGO: Great…uh, how about picking it up on page The ultimatum? Nathan, feel free to build the kind of tension you think is necessary for this scene, and Katerina will follow your lead, okay?…Great. Frank, can you cue the scene?

  V/O FRANK: (FX of a series of BEEPS and there is a flash of LIGHT, indicating that the scene is starting.) Nathan Harte audition, take one.

  KATERINA: (Looking off-camera, at Hugo) Um…Sorry, Hugo, darling, I…I was just wondering…Before we start, would you mind if…if Nathan and I could just take a moment and…well, I know this sounds odd, but…can we kiss first?

  V/O HUGO: (Confused) Kiss? Hmmm…Well…uh…That’s not in the scene…

  KATERINA: I know, my darling Hugo…It’s just that—well, I’m going on my gut here—(She takes a single finger, and lays it on her bosom, then lets it travel slowly, achingly down her well-defined abdomen, to just above her exposed belly button. Nathan seems somewhat fixated by this.)—But I think that our doing so might…you know, take the edge off of Nathan’s audition. I mean, I want Nathan to see that—(With a sweet giggle)—that I’m only human…Just like the girl next door, right? Is—is that okay? You wouldn’t mind, would you, Nathan?

  NATHAN: (Still in shock) Um…no! Not at all.

  V/O HUGO: Uh…(Hesitantly) Sure, yeah, okay…I mean, heck, the script has a couple of sex scenes in it anyway. Might as well see if there’s, um, any chemistry, right?

  KATERINA: (Looking Nathan right in the eye) Ummm. Yeah. Chemistry. I’m guessing we’ll have no problem there. Right, Nathan?

  (Nathan blushes, nods slowly. The look on his face says, “What, is this a dream or something?”)

  V/O HUGO: Okay…well, the camera is rolling…So—

  (Katerina puts a hand on Nathan’s face. He turns his head to kiss it, gently. With just the slightest hesitation, he pulls her closer to kiss her face, too. She melts into him, her hands playing him
as if she was Lara St. John and he was a brand-new Stradivarius. At first he freezes. But then, slowly, he reciprocates, his hands roaming her body as if he were a blind man reading Braille.)

  (TIGHTER ANGLE as the kiss lingers on…and on…)

  V/O HUGO: Well…that certainly seems to work…Gee. Okay, now…Cut.

  (There is no response to his direction. The camera lingers…and lingers…)

  V/O HUGO: I said, cut!…Frank, you can turn off the goddamn camera now…Frank!

  (CAMERA OUT)

  Here is what Nathan told Nina about the audition:

  Yes, Sam was right, the part was his for the asking. Go figure!

  And that he couldn’t believe his very first movie would be directed by the esteemed Hugo Schmitt, a director whose technique she’d been raving about even back when they were in high school. When he heard Nina’s gasp, he just presumed she was as amazed as he was over this unexpected twist of fate.

  Oh, and by the way, guess who he’d be starring opposite? Could she believe Katerina McPherson? “She stopped by during the audition…and read with me.” He threw it out there cautiously.

  He didn’t mention the kiss. Hell, no. No way.

  Because he knew how she’d react: first with surprise, then shock, and finally hurt.

  And then she’d ask him if he had liked it.

  And even if he said, “No! Of course not,” Nina would know he was lying.

  So he kept it to himself.

  “Omigod! That must have been—awesome!” murmured Nina. “Wow, I can totally see her in that role…”

  Nathan watched her face for any signs of concern, or jealousy…but only saw her joy for him. Which only made him feel guiltier than ever.

  And which was why he took her in his arms and kissed her…hard…then he took her in the bedroom and made love to her…longingly…

  …and all the while, he hated himself for imagining that he was making love to Katerina McPherson.

  Afterward, as they lay in each other’s arms, Nina mused out loud, “So is she nice? Gee, I can’t wait to meet her!”

  !!! ADORABLE ALERT!!!

  It’s not every day I sound an Adorable Alert, my righteous readers, which is why this little tidbit gets CAPPED AND BOLDED, so pay attention! Rumor has it that a new hunka burnin’ love is roaming the halls of this adult high school we call Hollywood. Apparently he’s not only handsome, but has the chops to “go the distance”…Ummm, don’tcha just love the sound of that? So look for this New Man on Campus on a big screen near you…and the bigger the better, ladies, in order to see what (er) “assets” he has that have got everyone going gaga…

  Baxter Quinn’s Hollywood Exxxposé, 1/30

  6

  The Seduction

  “Wow, what a stud. Too bad his headshots suck.”

  Because the criticism came from Fiona Truman—the head partner of Truman, Lyle, & Callahan Public Relations, which now could proudly claim Nathan Harte, the stud in question, as a new client—Sam fully anticipated that this minor issue would be resolved in a matter of days.

  Sam knew better than to argue with her. Instead he stared down at the black and white photos of Nathan that Fiona was perusing with a photographer’s loupe and sighed. Of course, Nathan would be disappointed that the photos wouldn’t be used, particularly since they were brand new. Well, too bad. Fiona’s recommendations were golden: no ifs, ands, or buts. And although Fiona ostensibly answered to Nathan (and not the other way around), in reality, her marching orders were set by Sam in a weekly meeting Sam had with Fiona every Tuesday morning to run down the publicity agenda of all his clients who were handled by TLC.

  And Sam’s orders for Fiona were, quite simply, to do everything in her power to make Nathan a star, now that Forever and Again had been greenlighted. Filming had begun over a week ago, to accommodate a six-week window in Katerina’s jam-packed schedule. If they had waited any longer, her next available shooting date would have been years off, and by then, Katerina would have been too old for the lead role, anyway: that of an innocent albeit nubile college freshman.

  Not that she’d ever admit to that.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not surprised you think they’re crap. Nathan told me—quite proudly, I might add—that he got them done for only fifty bucks.”

  “Yikes! Well then, if that’s the case, then frankly, I think the poor guy got ripped off.” She crumpled them up, one by one, and tossed them into the conference room trash can.

  Sam got the message. “Right. Okay, so, let’s get them redone. Whom would you suggest?”

  “Let me see if Jack Guy can squeeze him in sometime this week. If not, I’ll get James White to do it. Either way, I’ll have some stock cover poses shot at the same time. You know, for the second-tier mags, general editorial purposes, fan club blogs, and so on. Already the tom-toms are beating about him. Did you see Baxter’s column this morning?” She tossed her auburn curls, a habit Sam had come to recognize as her way of making mental notes.

  “Sure did. Great work, Fiona. So, what’s your take on Nathan’s overall look?”

  “Well, we’ve certainly got a lot here to work with. He’s got fab cheekbones. Those soulful eyes should definitely melt a few hearts. Um…a little shaggy in the brow area, but we can work on that…although it hasn’t hurt Gyllenhaal, right?”

  “True. At the same time, we don’t want the tabs comparing the two, because Nathan will come off as the clone, since he’s the newbie.”

  “Gotcha. When I set him up with Burton Machen at Pick-ford for a cut, I’ll also get his opinion on shaping Nathan’s brows. We’ll do it just prior to the photo shoot. And I’ll go in with him on both appointments.”

  She did the head toss again. He assumed she was rearranging her own agenda in her mind, to accommodate the client who would make her year for her when the fanzines started touting him as the rising star to watch. “I’ll schedule a manicure and a facial, too, while we’re at the salon. Hey, he’s not one of those fly-over state types who will balk and call it ‘too girly,’ is he?” Fiona asked.

  “So what if he does? Set him straight. Just tell him Tom and Russell do it. That should shut him up,” said Sam.

  Fiona nodded knowingly. “Yep, works every time. Within a year he’ll be hooked on the thought of being the newest poster boy for metrosexual manhood.” They both chuckled. She then clicked off the other things she felt they had to discuss.

  First on the agenda was his wardrobe. Because of Nathan’s height, broad shoulders, and washboard abs, certainly Armani and Sean John were a good start. “I’ll go shopping with him, and make sure that he throws in some Hugo Boss. Prada’s got some new stuff out that looks like it was just made for him.” She smiled knowingly. “And certainly, we’ve got to put that cute ass of his in some DIESEL denim. Gay vague, you know?”

  “Sure, go for it,” murmured Sam. “But don’t try to explain that to Nathan. He may not grasp the concept.”

  “Gotcha. All he-man, eh? Well, we’ll keep it our little secret.” When Fiona was through with him, the kid wouldn’t have much of a first paycheck, but this was what was called “investing in one’s career,” so too bad; he’d have to bite the bullet.

  As for his social agenda, Fiona felt that, currently, Nathan’s left a lot to be desired. “His outside interests are his gym and his acting classes. Mostly he stays home with his wife. Apparently he doesn’t do much clubbing. Hell, he told me he’s never even seen the inside of Chi. Go figure.” Fiona was puzzled. “I mean, how could you claim to be an actor in Hollywood and have not been there, for god’s sake?”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t get the feeling that Donald Ducks have a heck of a lot of discretionary income to play with, anyway.”

  “You’ve got a point there. Not only that, but I could hear some whiny brat—sounded like a boy—in the background—”

  “She—he has a kid?” This was news to Sam. Nina hadn’t mentioned it, and because she looked like such a baby herself, he would have never dreamed she’
d had a kid. He blushed just thinking about her and her small, taut stomach.

  Did knowing that she had a kid make him feel differently about her? Hell yeah. Suddenly he realized that any man who was willing to get involved with her couldn’t jerk her around, not ever.

  Not that he planned on doing that: getting involved…

  Or, if it just so happened that they did get involved, he certainly wouldn’t jerk her around.

  She’s just too good for that…

  Damn! Damn! amn! Stay on track! Focus…Focus…

  “Where do you want to start?” He threw the issue of Nathan’s social agenda back in her court.

  “Well…he should certainly get out at least a couple of nights a week. Do the red carpet for a premiere, or a well-covered party. And definitely he should hit some of the hot spots, you know: Concorde, LAX, Mood, Privilege, and of course the Grill. I’ll have my assistant, Dominique, get him on the appropriate VIP lists. I don’t suppose he has a Sidekick or something, so that we can update his schedule as events are added?”

  “Here’s his cell number.” He wrote it down on a business card and slid it across the desk to her. “Call him there until you can get him a Sidekick. You can bill it here.”

  “Will do. I’ll ask him to come around to my office to pick it up, and I’ll teach him how to work with it. I don’t suppose he’ll have an assistant anytime soon, eh?”

  “Not yet. I’d suggest keeping Nina—his wife—in the loop. She strikes me as…quite efficient.”

  Fiona nodded, but he could tell she was not convinced. “We’ll keep planting juicy tidbits with Serenity and Baxter, and Liz, of course. Rush & Molloy, Page Six, Jeanette. Certainly Ted at E! Network. I’ll hit the phones the minute we finish.”

  “With what kind of hook?” he asked.

  “Well, we’ve got the Hugo/Kat project. A second angle is that he’s another adorable dude from Brad’s home state of Missouri. That alone begs the question, ‘Is he the next Brad?’ And from what I hear from Kat, Nathan just may be that…particularly if she can convince him to dump his wife for her.” Fiona gave Sam a knowing look.