The Housewife Assassin's Greatest Hits Read online

  TOTLANDIA: Book 4 (The Onesies/Summer)

  Summer sizzles in Totlandia, emotions boil over. When Jillian's vindictive joke backfires, she learns the true meaning of forgiveness. Jade’s betrayal puts her in a dangerous downward spiral with no bottom in sight—until she finds friendship and redemption where she least expects it. Lorna faces the biggest trial in her marriage, and makes an important decision that may end it for good. While Ally may regret the choices made she to get accepted in the club, her exile puts new opportunities in her path, thanks to Brady and his ceaseless desire to win her over—with Barry's help, who is playing his own little game with the Top Moms Committee. But it's Bettina who suffers the ultimate punishment—one that changes her life, and the livelihood of the club, forever.

  TOTLANDIA: Book 5 (The Twosies/Fall)

  When Bettina Cross is faced with having to share the leadership of her beloved Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club with her sister-in-law, Lorna Connaught, she plays dirty—only to discover that her actions have aligned her two true enemies: Kimberley Savitch, and Kelly Overton. Bettina’s problems are compounded when Daniel Warwick, a Department of Justice prosecutor, wants to use her as bait to trap her soon-to-be ex, Art, into coming home and answering to long list of fraud charges. The fact that Art has scammed most of San Francisco’s wealthiest families has Bettina fighting desperately to preserve her most priceless possession: her social standing. When Brady lines up venture capital funding for Life of Pie, Ally must tamp down his gung-ho power ranger tendencies, while at the same time shore up Jillian’s insecurities that her pies won’t live up to Brady’s promises. And now that the once homeless Reggie is teaching the complete works of Shakespeare to UC Berkeley undergrads, Jade struggles with her fear that she’s competing for his affections with his younger, more beautiful students. Finally, an unexpected tragedy puts Jillian in the middle of her ex's life again—with consequences that will affect her future and those of her twins—forever.

  TOTLANDIA: Book 6 (The Twosies/Winter)

  Winter’s chill isn’t just in the air. It also runs through the veins of all the women in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Besides dealing with the politics of the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, Lorna discovers a secret that will scandalize the members—and perhaps have one one them leaving in disgrace; As for Jade, her new part-time job on the UC Berkeley campus allows Reggie to see her in a whole new light—one that will either make, or break, their relationship; Jillian is juggling too much—not just the twins, the growth of Life of Pie, and the details of her wedding, but the guardianship of the infant, Scotty. Will her fiancé, Caleb man up to fatherhood—or will he be scared off by threats of a lawsuit from Rona, the mother her deceased ex-husband, Scott? And Brady’s frustration over Ally’s refusal to commit to marrying him leads him down a slippery slope–into her past. And finally, Bettina's idea for a new mobile may get her out of hock—but will it keep her in the good graces of Daniel Warwick— the Federal agent chasing down, Art?

  TOTLANDIA: Book 7 (The Twosies/Spring)

  For the women of Totlandia, spring brings new life and emotional renewal. The births of Lorna's twins brings depression—over Dante's future. The decision she makes will drive a wedge between her and Matt. As for Jillian, she's working harder than ever in launching Life of Pie. The good news: Caleb has taken to his new role as über-dad with gusto. The bad news: it's causing trouble in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club. Also, when one of Jade's darkest secrets is exposed, her past and future collide, forcing her to makes some hard decisions regarding her life—with or without Reggie. On the other hand, Ally is afraid that the truth about her father may be the end Brady's love for her.

  As for Bettina: will she succumb to an easy fix for her problems, or will she embrace the challenge that may lead to the financial and emotional freedom she craves?

  The True Hollywood Lies Series

  Hollywood Hunk

  (Formerly published as “True Hollywood Lies”)

  Hollywood Whore

  Available in the United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand.

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  “The writing is laced with venomous humor…”

  –The Wall Street Journal

  "Brown captures the humor of working for a megalomaniac...[A] well-paced, entertaining story.”

  –Publishers Weekly

  "A fine piece of literary work."

  –New York Post, Page Six

  "Josie Brown does an outstanding job capturing the glitz and glamour of Hollywood living yet illuminating the stark loneliness present beneath the façade. Filled with good-natured humor and witty repartee..."

  –Romance Reader's Connection

  "With tongue-in-cheek dialogue, Hollywood Hunk provides a fascinating look at the jet set lifestyle of the rich and for-the-moment famous.... You will laugh, cry, and wonder if it's worth it to be rich and famous."

  –Romance Reviews Today

  Other Books by Josie Brown

  The Candidate

  (A Political Thriller)

  Seduction and intrigue are rampant on the campaign trail when a political campaign adviser discovers that Washington's power broker elite have embroiled his presidential candidate in a plot involving an act of terrorism on US soil… Democratic political campaign consultant Ben Brinker can’t remember the last time he was excited by a candidate’s vision. He feels he’s lost his way, both emotionally and professionally. Worst yet, his show-me-the-money policy seems to have finally caught up with him. Two of his recent clients have been disgraced in one way or another: a senator is caught in lurid sex scandal, and a congressman is indicted in a kickback scandal. In no time at all the political pundits are calling Ben a "candidate cooler." Now Ben is desperate for any campaign gig he can get. As luck would have it, Andrew Harris Mansfield, the charismatic junior senator from North Carolina and former Marine pilot, asks Ben if he wants to run his soon-to-be-announced campaign for president. Little does Ben know what's in store for Andrew, or their country—Nor does he realize that the key to saving both have been placed in his hands.

  Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives

  Suburbia is a jungle, filled with lots of vicious creatures.Take the Paradise Heights Women’s League board. Lyssa Harper should have warned golden-haired DILF du jour Harry Wilder what he was getting into when she invited him to meet the mommies who run their suburban, gated community. At least he brought cupcakes. Since meeting the former Master-of-the-Universe turned stay-at-home single dad, Lyssa has been his domestic Sherpa, teaching him the ins and outs of suburban life. She just didn’t realize her friends would show up at his house unannounced with casseroles, leopard-print bikini briefs, and plans to rearrange his kitchen cabinets. The truth is, if Harry and his wife, the neighborhood’s “perfect couple,” can call it quits, what does that mean for everyone else? Lyssa’s husband, Ted, is a great father, but he pays her Pilates-pumped momtourage more attention than he does his own wife. Her friends gossip about the neighbors while ignoring their own problems: infertility, infidelity, and eating disorders. When Harry sets boundaries with his new fan club, he is exiled from the neighborhood’s in-clique. But Lyssa refuses to snub him. What she never expects is the explosive impact her ongoing friendship with Harry will have on her close-knit pals—and on her marriage.

  Praise for Josie Brown

  "Hollywood's got nothing on the cast of characters living in the bedroom community of Paradise Heights, who have the secrets, sex, money and scandal of an OK! Magazine cover story. Josie Brown is a skilled observer whose clever dialogue makes for truly entertaining reading."

  –Jackie Collins, bestselling author of Hollywood Wives and Poor Little Bitch Girl

  "Josie Brown captures the highs and lows of love, lust and marriage with heart wrenching pathos. I'm recommending it to all my friends as the perfect beach read!"

  –Lisa Rinna, actress, and author of the novel, Starlit

  "The Baby Planner is as a delight. I wondered, as I was r
eading it, how I every managed without a baby planner, and by the end I wondered how I ever managed without its author, Josie Brown."

  –Eileen Goudge, New York Times bestselling author of Once in a Blue Moon

  "Josie Brown’s writing is whip-smart as well as wickedly funny, and just as you are enjoying the ride she takes you on, she shatters your heart with her insight into modern lives."

  –Tatjana Soli, New York Times bestselling author of The Lotus Eaters

  "I loved this juicy-as-it-it-is-heartfelt novel about love, marriage, friendship and sharp, manicured claws. Could not put it down!"

  –Melissa Senate, author, The Secret of Joy

  "Poignant and funny! Josie Brown's protagonist is strong, resilient, and unflinchingly honest: she has all the skills she needs to navigate the 'mean streets' of the gated community of Paradise Heights. A great read!"

  –Wendy Wax, author, Magnolia Wednesdays

  “Brown proves that a story with suburban bodies can be just as suspenseful as one with dead bodies! Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives is a probing, entertaining fishbowl of married life in a well-heeled, wayward neighborhood. Loved it!”

  –Stephanie Bond, author of Body Movers series and Two Guys Detective Agency series

  Copyright Information

  The Housewife Assassin’s Greatest Hits

  Text, Content and Design are registered trademarks of Josie Brown. © 2017 Josie Brown.

  V101617

  ISBN# 978-1-942052-79-1

  No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher. No patent liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and authors assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of information contained herein.

  This is a work of fiction. All incidents, corporate entities, and dialogue, and all characters with the exception of some well-known historical and public figures, are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Where real-life historical or public figures appear, the situations, incidents, and dialogues concerning those persons are entirely fictional and are not intended to depict actual events or to change the entirely fictional nature of the work. In all other respects, any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

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  Published by Signal Press / San Francisco, California, USA

  info@ SignalEditorial.com

  Cover Design: ClickTwiceDesign.com

  eBook Conversion: CheapEBookFormatting.com